We winced with pain when the Boss told us he needed a write-up for a match between Ronnie Pearl and Ace Owens. Comments such as, “Oooooooooooo!” and “What the F**K?!!?” were shouted out by everyone. We couldn’t imagine why the Boss was subjecting cute little jobber Ace to the abuse and torture of the ultra-sexy and ultra-shredded Ronnie Pearl. Our job is to watch the video and do the write-up, not question the Boss. We know how much the Boss hates it when we question his motives. We just hope the Boss had the foresight to have the EMTs waiting outside the arena, so Ace could receive medical attention as quickly as possible.
The gorgeous and intimidating Ronnie, showing off his well-endowed package in his deep burgundy trunks with black and white vertical stripes, gives a quick promo stating his opponent is trash and he’s the trash collector. Ace comes in next in his gold trunks, blue knee pads, white boots, and gold & silver cape (the cape looks like something Little Red Riding Hood would wear if her colors were gold & silver). He’s claiming he has “what it takes” to win but does so with all the conviction of a little girl on a playground saying she can beat-up the school bully. HA!
Much to our surprise, Ace does get off a handful of offensive moves, but they are no match for the much stronger and more experienced Ronnie. Ronnie gets Ace in a sleeper that has his face as blue as his knee pads. That’s not Ronnie’s style and instead has the ref wake him up for some additional punishment. As Ace is staggering to his feet, Ronnie comes at him with all the force and intensity of a hurricane headed toward New Orleans. As the saying goes, “You ain’t seen nuthin yet!” Ronnie has no intention of letting up on the poor jobber. A second sleeper has Ace out cold. Before he can realize where he is, Ronnie is dishing out excruciating levels of punishment. He stretches Ace out, putting his package in full view of the camera. Ace has very little compared to the meat Ronnie is packing in his trunks. Ace passes out again, this time just from the pain. Ronnie continually slaps Ace’s face, then resorts to smacking his head so hard that Ace tries to cover it up like a kid losing a fight on the school playground. Ace is put out so many times that we lose track of the number. The cute little butterball of a ref should have ended this match LONG before he did. Ronnie didn’t just beat, punish, and humiliate Ace, he totally emasculated him as well.
The way we see it, Ace must enjoy this type of abuse. Maybe it goes back to his early childhood and he got beat up on the playground. Maybe when he was born, and the doctor slapped him, then nurse got in a few shots, too. Who knows? We’ve seen some grueling matches here at W4H, but this tops them all. We will be surprised if Ace ever steps into a ring again.
Ace needs to count the number of times his mop hair is used against him in his matches, as well as how often he must pull it out of his eyes. There’s no doubt he believes it looks good, but then again, looks are subjective.
TOTAL RUN-TIME: 23 minutes, 47 seconds
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